Random Thoughts by Deionte

Top 10 Moments from Chico States Alumni Weekend

Side note: I was blacked out for a good portion of some of these stories. My friends have filled in the blanks.

Thunderbird Inn
So JP (friend/frat bro/unboyfriend) and I stayed at the Thunderbird Inn this weekend while at Alumni Weekend. This is easily one of the trashiest places I have ever laid my head and considering where I’ve laid my head, um let’s not get in to that subject; I wouldn’t want you guys thinking I was a whore or anything like that. Anywho, everything about this hotel stunk of low-class, low-budget fabulousness from the dirty comforters, to the bathroom window which doesn’t close, the nasty shower that filled the bathroom with water when used, to the toothless maids, the raunchy carpet covered in human fluid stains (use your imagination). Yes the Thunderbird Inn was truly a sight to see! When I first entered the room the first thought, which came to mind, was I wonder how many people have died in this god-forsaken place! If you ever wanna know how it feels to be white trash I suggest you go to the lovely Thunderbird Inn

Jay makes me Str8
Okay, so Jay is one of my best friends! We pledged a popular black frat on campus together needless to say only one of us made it through and it wasn’t me. However, Jay and I became good friends (brothers as we like to call each other) and he asked me to be his daughters God-Father…sweet! Anywho, we’ve been through a lot and whenever I come to town I try to make sure that we are drunk together so we can cause some type of trouble. For some reason on Friday when Jay and I got together I became str8 for the night…hmmm mmm. I was grabbing my crotch and spitting. I made-out with a couple of chicks, and bit a couple of boobs or was it liked a couple of boobs, Anywho I can’t remember but I saw some pictures so evidently it happened. I don’t remember much else so that’s it for me and Jay but thanks for getting fucked up with me…Oooohhh yea some stupid bitch called me and Jay "stupid Niggers" outside of Riley’s it was exactly at that point that I truly felt like I was back in Chico. We got in her face and talked a little bit of shit but ultimately I decided not to waste my time even dealing with her. Some people are just ignorant and others are simply douche bags! The stupid bitch I’m referring to…you know what I’m over even giving this bitch any of my energy.

I totally got to first base!
So one of my friends got fake boobs and she pulled me to the side to get my opinion on her two new friends. I told her that she has a big ass and curvy hips! The new boobs even out her figure and make her body look proportioned. My personal stance on plastic surgery is if you can afford it and it makes you happy, go for it! You only have one life to live why waste it being fat and flabby when you can be thin and hungry? Yes I heart plastic surgery and if I were disciplined I would have studied to become a flesh ripping, boob stuffing, tummy-tucking physician. Oooohhh yeah and thanks for letting me get to 1st base…oooooooooookay!

Fall from the top
So I was at Riley’s on Saturday and there was this group of sorority alumni dancing on top of the bar and badly at that! This is one of my least favorite sororities at Chico State but anywho they were dancing on top of the bar and yelling we’re the best sorority ever, woo hoo! So the stupid bitch with the least almost of rhythm bends over to do a booty shake and her previously fat, now mysteriously thin coke head of a "sister" "accidentally" bumps her and she falls face first unto the floor. Yes people I couldn’t make shit like this up! It was fab-u-lous and I enjoyed every minute of it. People started to laugh and the girls began to yell shut up! Shut up! The dazed girl got up wiped the drool from her mouth and bravely got back on the bar and continued her uncoordinated journey towards drunken madness.

Pita Pit Madness
So there is the place in Chico called the Pita Pit and I had to go there. They have an out of this world honey mustard chicken pita and as everyone already knows I am an absolute whore who has no shame when it come to 1. Boneless chicken and 2. Good honey mustard. Anywho, me pita was so good that I had to go back 20 minutes later just to consume another one of those warm, succulent, mouth watering honey mustard chicken pitas.

Who needs a Bank of America checking card?
I lost my Bank of America Checking Card while in Chico and guess what? The douche bag found it has been having a gay ol’ time in Chico at my expense. So far they have bought a shit load of alcohol, $50 worth of gas, and insane amounts of fast food. When I found out who has my card I’m gonna make a special trip back up to Chico to kick someone’s fuckin’ ass!

Old Flame is a married man!
So this guy I use to screw in Chico is married. I would have said happily married but there’s no way you can go from enjoying the mega-booty to sleeping with a vagina and be sexually satisfied. I mean that’s im-fuckin-possible and the thought of anyone sleeping with a vagina makes my stomach turn and makes me wanna dry heave. It’s funny because that’s probably how you feel when I talk about greasy lubed up man on man action. Anywho, I saw him out and it was strange to see him especially since so much in our lives had changed. I wouldn’t sleep with him again but that’s mainly because I can’t remember the size of his fun-pole and that can only mean one thing, what that one thing is I haven’t decided just yet.

Teriyaki House
The only thing I love more than delicious honey mustard is delicious teriyaki sauce. Mainly because good teriyaki is harder to come by then honey mustard. Anywho there is this place in Chico called the Teriyaki House and I fucking love this place. I went the 4 times and 3 days. I love you Teriyaki House and you complete me and make me feel warm and fuzzy around my naughty region.

I See You
While out and about in Chico lots of Myspace folk approached me and said that they enjoy my blogs and that it helps them make it through there boring days at work. To all of you who showed me some love I would like to say thank you. However, the next I see you whores I would like a fucking shot to show your appreciation. The drunker I am the more trouble and shit I can start, which means the more blogs I can write it’s a win-win situation for everyone involve, while except for my liver. It’s simple math people:
ME + ALCOHOL = ME whoring around and causing trouble!

I would like to give a special shot out to Katie (you look really good! Tell Jen I said wsup!), Devin you made my Saturday nite off the hook!, Sarah you were super fucked up at La Salle’s and you took advantage of me…thanx, Adrienne you owe me a shot…girlie, Pilar you are too many things but the first thing which comes to mind is a sassy, take no shit lady, Sudeep you’re a fucking mess and I hope Smelia kicks your ass LOL, p-la/Rachel/jen I expected more from you girls =(, channy & tarrah can the gays get some cupcakes or what? Rachelle missing in action…where were you? Lynn Flynn/megs/karie/nat/daily you girls are absolutely gorgeous and it was wonderful to see you again and again and again! Bobby you missed some hardcore AS bonding…moving to the bay so I’ve heard through the grapevine…Sudeep! Roy Michael Thomas you’re hot these days, and to the rest of the phi’s "all for one and one for all schewing!"…LAME. Jay my favorite RA I love gossiping with you and I hope I will see you sometime soon…ps black hair and blue eyes is fucking hot. To everyone else it was good times and I’ll see you in a year!

posted by Lady_Sings_tha_blues @ 11:59 AM