Random Thoughts by Deionte

Random Thoughts 8

So I would have posted earlier but I actually did something productive at work today!

Horror @ The Cheesecake Factory
So last night I went to Ms Cheesecake Factory with one of my frat brothers. It’s funny because whenever we go out people think we are a couple even thought nothing could be further from the truth! So we meet up in SF and we start to catch up on what’s been going on in each other’s life and other gay stuff like that. So after 2 days of waiting our buzzer finally goes off and we get our table. Side note: Cheesecake Factory has two gorgeous new waiters and had everybody in the restaurant not have thought that I was eating out with my boyfriend I totally would have got some action! Anywho, Jp ordered the meatloaf and I ordered the Lemon Herb Chicken (ooohhh God my body is starting to shiver just thinking about that juicy, succulent chicken). So went ate as much as we could and then we were ready to part ways and go to sleep. We gave the waitress our food to place in to-go boxes and continued our conversation. So the waitress comes back and she only has one box, she gives Jp his food and keeps walking. So I’m like Hmmm maybe she’s gonna comeback with my food. She brings us our tab and keeps walking. So I flag her ass down and the conversation went like this

Me: Where is my chicken?
Waitress Bitch: Ummm the lemon herb chicken?
Me: Yes the lemon herb chicken I gave you to place in a to go box
Waitress Bitch: Ooooohhhhh sorry I threw it away
Me: You what?
Waitress Bitch: I accidentally threw it away
Me: Did you not see all the chicken left on my plate? I still had half a plate of mashed potatoes left!
Waitress Bitch: I am soooo sorry
Me: That was going to be my lunch!
Waitress Bitch: We could make you another.
Me: I don’t feel like waiting. I’ll take a vanilla bean cheesecake instead.

God help so hard to find!

Have you seen my Mojo???
So after last nights eating fiasco I was I need of some major cuddling action. Unfortunately, my cuddle buddy and I are not on speaking terms at the moment because we don’t see eye to eye on our bedtime. I think that we should go to bed after Will & Grace at midnight. But my cuddle buddy thinks we should go to bed after watching one hour Kim Possible on the Disney Channel; bringing our bedtime to 1am. Since we couldn’t agree, we are not speaking. As you can see this is a very mature and healthy relationship, not!

Okay, so I call UPS guy to see if he wanted to come over and our conversation went like this:
Me: Hey how are you?
UPS: Tired I’ve been working ten hour days
Me: Oooohhhh that’s too badUPS: How are you?
Me: Fan-fuckin-tastic
UPS: I’m really tired!
Me: I can’t wait to get home and get out of these clothes
UPS: Did you see Tuesday’s episode of Big Brother?
Me: I just want to get undressed and lay in my bed!
UPS: I really hope Janelle wins head of house-hold!
Me. I think I’m gonna just get naked and chill in bed
UPS: The finale is next week!
Me: Did you hear what I just said?
UPS: Baby I'm tired
Me: You’re HORRIBLE and I hung up in his face!

I can’t remember being rejected like this ever. This does not sit well with me. All I was asking was that he take a shower, get dressed, pack his work clothes, drive over the bridge, bring me some snacks, cuddle in my bed, and keep me warm. But I guess that’s too much to ask for these days. So what he was tired and worked a 10-hour day. What about my needs? What about what I want? What about my fucking snacks! I give up I gonna to be str8 from now on. Look at ladies the “black magic” is cuming your way!

You selfish BASTARDS
I don’t understand you people! You requested my friendship and you read my bulletins, blogs, and comments. The only thing I asked for you is to buy me a metallic pink Ipod and no one responded. Well I say off with all of your heads. You people are thoughtless, selfish, ungrateful heathens and I hope you all burn fiery pits of hell!

There are no gentlemen left in this fucking country
So I’m on Bart today and this pregnant woman boards my train and she was about to pop at any minute. She walked over to a group of men and asked them if one of the would mind standing so she could sit and every ignored her. Surprisingly, even the women paid her absolutely no attention. I yelled out and told her that she could have my seat and we traded places and that was that. As I stood in front of all those men I got really upset. I stared them down my entire ride on Bart. I hate people!

Drive a Bart
I hear that Bart operators make $60k a year! $60K for what? It couldn’t be too difficult to operate a Bart. I’m gonna look into this job I could totally kick ass it this job. I would pull off and leave before any ugly people could board my Bart and I play hip-hop and R&B. It would be like that movie Soul Plane but on Bart!

McGriddles
I had one of these McMuffins on crack the other day and they are really weird. As you bite into it syrup gushes into your mouth, hey that reminds me of this time these guy and me was…Hmmmm let me get back to my story. Anywho, the bread with syrup in it wasn’t my kind of meal so I threw it away. What a waste of $$$

So I was reading the newspaper at work and it seems that 70% of all high school students are having oral sex. That’s bullshit America is not a land of under achievers. Why just stop at oral sex? Why not go all the way and get it on! Can you believe that? High school students are whores and they too will burn in the fiery pits of hell. The article also mentioned that lesbian sex is on the rise as well. Hmmm Mmmm it seems that there are tons of young high school lesbians bumping vaginas and doing whatever lesbians do to pleasure themselves. Personally, I try not to think about girl on girl sex. In my opinion if God wanted woman to have sex together he would have given them penises!

SARS on Bart
So I was on Bart yesterday and I was on my way home. This fat woman sat in front of me and started coughing like no other. I’m a germaphobe and I can’t deal with other people releasing their fucking germs on Bart. I tried to sit and be respectful but the coughing would not stop. So then I looked at the wall and there was a poster about bombs on Bart, a picture of Osama Bin Laden on the cover of Time magazine and an envelope on the floor. I took it as a sign from God that this woman had SARS. I immediately got up and moved to the next Bart train. The nerve of some people!

Crazy Asian Woman
So there is this crazy Asian woman who walks around El Cerrito and I have been seeing her since I was in Jr. high. It saddens me to tell you that this crazy bitch has really let herself go! She used to be in good shape and had a shameful love affair with spandex. I saw hr today and she was wearing dinosaur print jeans, a pink coat, with a sparkly bra and a feather boa. What’s worst is that she now has that horrible Rosie O’Donnell ultra-lesbian haircut!

Apartment Spectacular
So my roomie and I have decided to get some wigs and create a show. We’re calling this show the Apartment Spectacular and it’s gonna be this fabulous 2 “man” cabaret act! We have a routine to “Ain’t no mountain high enough” by The Supremes and I am currently working on choreography for “hey big spender”, “Circles by Ms Carey” and “Holy, Holy”. We’ll have costume changes, dramatic make-up, and lots of liquor. When our act is complete I’ll invite a few select people to it before we go to Broadway and then you’ll have to pay to see it! When I say Broadway I meant 14th and Broad where all the drag queens congregate they’re a tough audience over there!

Oooohhh yea I’m going to go see some strippers tomorrow check in on Monday to hear if any drama or something exciting happened. I was also invited to an all black sex party but I’m not going. Threesome are more than enough for me I don’t think the “black magic” is ready for 20 guys at once. But it would be fun to observe and write about it! Anywho, have a safe weekend

posted by Lady_Sings_tha_blues @ 2:41 PM