Random Thoughts by Deionte

Random Thoughts #7

Will Smith
So yesterday started off as a typical day for me. I woke up, got dressed and took my ass to work. Once I got off Bart I noticed that some of the streets were blocked off but I paid that no mind. Later that day when I was going out for lunch I found out that Will Smith was shooting a movie and that’s why the streets were blocked off. I fucking love Will Smith and I would do just about anything to screw, whoops I mean meet Will Smith, lol! So I decided that I was gonna steak out the set and try to “meet” Mr. Smith. So there I am with about 30 other black woman and we’re waiting to get a glimpse of Will. Finally he comes out of his trailer and we loose our fucking minds. We're screaming, waving our hands, hell I was ever thinking about flashing Will to get some extra attention. Will starts signing autographs and my knees started to buckle and the “black magic” was starting to get excited as well. It was at that point I knew what I had to do. I ran down the street before I did something stupid like try to bite Will's nipple! My roommate and I are going stalk Will tonight at his hotel if you wanna come let me know!

Cupcakes
After harassing my Mom for like 3 weeks she finally gave in and decided to make me some yellow cupcakes with chocolate sprinkles. I can’t even tell you have unbelievably excited I am to get off work. I advise everyone to stay clear of my jeep once I get off work. Once I get in my car I will be a man on a mission and I’ll kill anyone who stands in the way of my beloved cupcakes and me!

Trimspa
I haven’t been to the gym in like 2 or 3 weeks, which is in direct violation of gay code 69, which is always, go to the gym and be perfect! Plus my gym doesn’t offer all the fun classes In Motion in Chico offered and that pisses me off. I haven't lifted a weight since my dad made me do it to toughen me up in the 5th grade. I usually stay away from weights because mucho meatheads tend to gravitate towards them and avoid those losers at all cost. With that being said I think I wanna join Anna Nicole Smith and try Trimspa. Granted Anna probably takes Trimspa with a healthy dose of coke to get her day going but this drug couldn’t possibly be that bad. Anywho, I’ll let you know how everything turns out.

I wanna see the fish’s
I really wanna drive to the Monterey Bay Aquarium and see their new Ocean’s Edge exhibit. Maybe it’s the Pisces in me coming out but I have been dying to see this exhibit for months now and I’ll die if I don’t see it. Does anyone wanna go on a road trip to Monterey with me? You won’t have to do anything but drive and you might have to pay for gas, food, snacks (which is totally different from food!) and my entry fee.

My Funeral
So the other day I was thinking about my funeral and I was trying to figure out what I would want to wear and what kind of flowers arrangements I would want for decoration. Than I started to wonder who would actually attend my funeral and would they cry. So I started making a list in my head but then I got really upset because the people I thought would be there probably wouldn’t make it to my funeral. That’s right I’m daydreaming about my funeral and then I get pissed off from something I thought up! Things got really weird from there and I decided that I was over this daydream. Geez, just when I think I’m kinda normal I think up some crazy shit like this.

My Book
So I have amassed 108 postings on my blog and I think I wanna look into writing a book. It would be a collection of stories about my life with a humorous twist. The format would be a lot like Jerry Seinfeld’s book, which didn’t really have chapters but a serious of stories or observations about a subject or concept. I think it would be a good idea and I usually get a lot of responses whenever I post on my blog or post one of my Random Thoughts bulletins. Putting the book together would be really easy. The major of the work would be going back and actually reading what I posted and using spell check which myspace doesn’t offer and I’m to lazy to cut and paste to Microsoft word. Anywho, in the next couple of weeks I’ll start doing research and sending things out to publishers. The title of my first book will be “Meet De’Aunta and my adventures as a gay black man” or “Meet De’Aunta and my life as a gay black man” I can't decided which one I like better. Do any of you have any comments of suggestions for a title???Wish me luck!

Chain Letters
Okay, so a friend of mine made a bulletin yesterday that I think is a really good idea. I love to read other peoples postings and sometimes I ever reply to them. But I fucking hate those if you love Jesus, you’ll never find true love, and you will die a horrible death if you don’t repost this chain letter posting. With that being said I say stop sending those fucking bulletins out because they are bullshit and you are a fucking idiot if you believe that there is even a small percentage of cause and effect related to them. This friend even said he would delete you as a friend and I am almost at that point as well. But I must make this observation first. Isn’t it funny that we get soooo upset over something as trivial as Myspace? Ohhhhhh my God did I really just say that!?! Oooohhhh please forgive me all-powerful God of Myspace please don’t revoke my Myspace privileges I love you and I promise to be a good boy. But seriously stop posting chain letters or else…you’ve been warned bitches!

Mommie Dearest
Ooooohhhh my fucking lawd I love the movie Mommie Dearest! Joan Crawford was a crazy movie star bitch and she really fucked her adopted daughter Christina (darling) over in a major way. Miss Crawford gave away Christina’s b-day presents, made her eat raw steak, threw away her dolls, beat her with a wire hanger and Ajax cleaning container, and then choked her. What’s worst is when Joan Crawford died she willed her millions of dollars to charity and left Christina and her adopted brother jack shit. If I was Christina I would have dug up Joan’s corpse took the jewelry off her cold dead body! Joan really fucked this woman over and I suggest that everyone go out and rent Mommie Dearest just for the scene will Joan flips out and beats the shit out of Christina with the wire hanger and Ajax cleaning container. It’s sad but funny as hell! My favorite scene from the movie goes like this
Joan Crawford: I don’t know what to do with you
Christina: WHY NOT!
Joan Crawford: I don’t ask much from you girl. Why can’t you give me the respect that any stranger would give me off the streets!?!
Christina: Because I am not one of your fans!
At this point Joan loses it and kicks Christina’s ass.

posted by Lady_Sings_tha_blues @ 11:31 AM