Random Thoughts by Deionte

Random Thoughts #16

Behind These Hazel Eyes
So I went out and bought Kelly Clarkson’s new CD Breakaway and I am really glad that I did. Ms. Clarkson brings out my inner white girl and like gag me with a spoon; I like totally love it!
Anywho, I voted for Kelly 130 times when she was on American Idol and I am glad that she actually has a career afterwards. If you’ve ever been heart-broken or cared about a guy you will definitely enjoy or at least relate to this CD.

Ipod Nano!!!
So as most of you who read my bulletins or blog already know I have been talking about wanting an Ipod for like 6 months. If I had some will power I could have probably saved up and bought one myself but I choose to spend my $$$ on food, clothes and porn. Anywho, my oldest cousin Shenesha contacted some of my friends via myspace and asked them if they would like to go in and buy me one. Can you believe that they actually said yes and some of them actually sent her $$$. This is something I can barely rap around my brain. First off people actually read these postings…unbelievable, people actually said yes to a stranger requesting $$$ via myspace to buy me an Ipod…WOW, and finally people actually followed through and sent $$$ and was excited to know when I would receive it.

I guess this just goes to show that everyone in the world isn’t a selfish asshole only looking out for themselves, which was the way I previously viewed the world. I guess you really do learn something new everyday! My Ipod is black and it is sooooo small I could probably shove it up my…Ummmm moving on. Its really small and I am terrified of losing it. I named her Nerfertiti because she black and sassy and I love her already! Thanks Shenesha, JP, Krystal, Tarrah, Shannon, Mitzi, and Mia!

Work is a Son of a Bitch
Okay, people so I have horrible news to report! Lately I have actually been busy at work and I don’t know how much more work I can actually complete. What kind of world do we live in where people go to work and are actually busy until they get off? I for one did not go to college for 5 years to get a job and go to work and actually have to be productive. This is insanity! I am currently drafting a letter, which I plan to send to Secretary of Labor to tell her/him of the horror I have recently endured while at work. I swear if I have to complete one more project I’m gonna start stealing stuff work!

It’s Pat???
So once again I was at El Cerrito Plaza Bart Station when a questionable person came and stood right next to me. For the life of me I could not decipher whether I was standing next to a woman or a man. He/she had curly hair, broad shoulders, and wore unisex clothing. The person had small boobs but it could have easily have been man-boobs because he/she was husky. He/she also had a little facial her but that doesn’t mean much because an ex-friend of mines mother has more hair on her chin then I have pubic hair on my crotch; its truly a sight to see. Anywho, I stared at he/she as long as I could but then he/she noticed and I did not want to get into a confrontation because I do like to hit women but then I would be confused because it could have have been a man I was fighting so I left that situation alone.

Can I Offer You A Used Satellite???
So after my run in with Pat I boarded Bart and tried to enjoy my ride. So I am reading Entertainment Weekly and trying to block out the many annoyances of all the other passengers. I was pretty successful until this homeless black man boarded Bart and started harassing everyone and asking us would we like to purchase a used satellite dish; please note that he had the used satellite strapped to his fucking back! So I knew he was gonna head my way because I had one of my gayer outfits on that day (tan fitted Express for Men corduroy pant + cream fitted v-neck Express for Men sweater + with brown leather boots, belt and arm band = one of the gayest outfits I own) Naturally with my gayness exposed I was an easy target for the homeless satellite guy. So here I am trapped on Bart trying not to make eye contact with the crazy black man who rapidly approaching my area of the Bart. Sadly my attempt to hide did not work and the next thing I knew he was in my face asking me to purchase his used satellite. When I asked how did he come across such a desirable satellite he got really pissed off and said that I was making fun of him. He did a small tap dance number or as least that is what it looked like and he moved on and started harassing the Mexican couple that did not speak English.

Hurricane Wilma A Category 5
Is it just me or are hurricanes off the hook this year. I have always been oddly entertained by watching hurricanes every since I was a little girl and I can’t remember anything like this ever occurring. Personally I believe that the world is coming to an end and this is just the beginning of lots of shit that’s gonna go down. With that being said I think all hot guys who have yet to experience homosexual loving should give me a call!

Let’s Repeat That
Okay so my roommate has a god-brother and they have a really odd relationship which I have given up on even trying to understand. But my roommate’s god-brother let’s call him Nathan is over at our house all the fucking time and it drives me crazy. He can be nice sometimes but for the most part I find him to be a major annoyance. Nathan likes to talk about the same shit over and over and over again and I honestly don’t know how much more of it I can handle. Did I mention that fact that he chain smokes weed the way smokers kill themselves with cigarettes. Nathan’s favorite topics to discuss is his ever growing belly which he claims he gonna have lypo to cure, being the baddest bitch in the bay, how everyone wants to fuck him, buying a Mercedes CLK430, and how ghetto fab-u-lous his mother is. The first time I heard these topics of discussion I thought they were sad but kinda funny but now that I have heard all of these fucking, son of a bitch, bastard, muthafucking stories over 100 times I am slowly starting to loose my mind! It’s literally driving me crazy and I believe that I am going insane!

Asian Holler Back Girl
So I am on the Bart today and would you believe that an Asian woman boarded the Bart with braids. I don’t care who the hell you are, how trendy your clothes may be, or if your boyfriend is black the only people who can pull of have braided hair is black people. Get upset with me if you like but deep down you know I am telling the truth. Additionally not all black people can pull of having braids, which is why you’ll never see me sporting this questionable hairdo. When Blacky Chan boarded Bart my mouth dropped open in astonishment. She was dressed in "black ghetto fabulous" clothing and when she asked this woman if she could sit down she spoke with a blackcent. I stared at this sad woman and all I could do was laugh. It is my hope that one day she will find a personality and hopefully it will be one that is less amusing.

Mr. Married Man
So a few weeks ago I went out to get some lunch and I met this really good-looking man. We briefly spoke, shared a laugh and then traded email addresses. We quickly formed a really good "friendship" and whenever we spoke I would grin from ear to ear. We had so much in common and I can’t remember the last time someone made me laugh so much in such a short period of time. I later found out that Mr. Man was a doctor and had graduated from Harvard, very impressive! Anywho, as we were chatting one day online he said that he had something important to tell me. I told him that I would rather discuss important topics on the phone rather than online.

It turns out that Mr. Man is married and has been married for about 7 years. He claims that he does not have sexuality and he wanted to build a relationship with me. He said that he could offer me things that no other man could and that if I were open-minded my life would change for the better. Mr. Man was very well spoken and made a lot of sense while we were on the phone. But luckily I am not some dumb bitch who just came out the closet yesterday. I told Mr. Man that there wasn’t a damn thing that he could do for me that I can’t already do for myself. I asked him to explain to me how I could ever believe anything he had to say? Especially being that he vowed in front of his wife, her family, his family and friends, and the Lord to honor and cherish her till death do us part and here he was trying to make me his mistress.

I asked him how would I fit into his life and marriage? When would we spend time? What was I supposed to do when his family and friends saw us out in public? What kind of commitment could he promise me? Again Mr. Man being a Harvard graduate had an detailed answer for every last one of my questions leading me to believe that this isn’t his first time cheating on my poor wife. Ultimately, even though I always say that I am looking for a sugar daddy, which by the way I really am. I am looking for something on my terms and I could never be someone’s mistress of sidepiece of ass. The sad thing is that you would never even guess that this guy was even bisexual let alone by gay and I am guessing that his wife doesn’t even know. This isn’t my first run in with a married man so I say be careful ladies.

posted by Lady_Sings_tha_blues @ 3:12 PM