Random Thoughts by Deionte

Random Thoughts 34

Alcohol + Splits + Lesbians = trouble
So I got really drunk on Friday I blame this mainly on Ty who brought me my last drink of the night. Anywho, I was cupcaking and flirting like there was no tomorrow and a good time was had by all. So the club called Booty lets out and I am walking to my Jeep when that new Kelis "Im Bossy" which I really am came on. Well one thing leads to another and I am on my hands and knees (yet again!) flash dancing around the car of these lesbians.

Anywho, I thought it would be a good idea to do the splits on their car and then it happened. I ripped my fucking jeans and exposed my underwear. Never fear my friends I was wearing my Vicki secret boycut underwear so I was still fashionable. The moral of this story is dont do the splits on a car unless you are a video whore wearing a g-string.

You are all on notice
So lately I have been drunk dialing like no other. I called my oldest cousin Shenesha and I had a conversation about God knows, I called my friend Delia and let her a message which was hard to understand through my slurred speech and finally I left my girl Krystal a message calling her whores, I threatened to fight her and I ended the message with the words "Feliz navidad" If I have your number there is a good chance I am drunk dial you at some point this week.

Im gonna look!
This asshole accused me of staring at his penis while running around the lake yesterday. Even though he was right I was totally staring at his penis at was all his fault. If you have a large penis and you decide to run around Lake Merritt there is a good chance your gonna get some attention. Hell why do you think I do it??? Lol!

Ray of Sunshine
So Ive said it once and Ill say it again the sun brings out my inner-whore. I cant even begin to tell you how much "fun" I have been having now that the sun has decided to show its fucking face! Look out fellas Dirty Dee is on the prowl.

Who did it????
Have you even wondered who decides who a word should be spelled? I sit around a lot and think about this shit! For instance take the word dance why is it spelled that why? Come on tell me why! You cant and neither can IAm I an idiot???? Lol!

Mothers Day
I love mothers day. I have this really weird thing where I like to find the perfect card that will bring my mother to tears. If she doesnt cry her eyes out I have done my job correctly. To date I have made my mom cry 8 years in a row!

Do you know?
Did you know that myspace is popular all over the world? I did not. I thought that myspace was something that only us Americans enjoyed. But then I changed my default picture and become popular with white boys in Ireland and England. I must say that the boys from overseas are fairly kinky. You would not believe some of the random messages I have received. Ooooohhhhh why Oooohhhhh why must I be so gorgeous! Drop dead Naomi theres a new bitch on the block! Lol!

You Suck!
Wish I was str8, men suck!

Dont eat the chili
Word of wisdom to all of you. If you want a second date, dont eat chili within 48 hours of date.

Didnt know it was possible
I dont have this problem but it has been weighing on my heart for a few days. There is the black waiter at P.F. Changs in Emeryville and he has absolutely no ass what-so-ever! I was astonished by his lack of ass and I must admit it hurt my heart. His ass was so flat he had to safety pin his apron because their was no ass to help support it. Wow!

posted by Lady_Sings_tha_blues @ 2:52 PM