Random Thoughts by Deionte

Drink-o de Mayo!!!

Okay, so I have to tell you about my Cinco De Mayo.
So with me being 25 years old and all I have decided that it was time for me to act more like an adult and stop getting wasted all the fucking time! So within the last 2 in a half months I have went out a total of 6 days, wow! Anywho, with drink-o de mayo rapidly approaching I decided that I was gonna go out and get shitty drink with my sister, lets call her Key-low'low.

So Key-low'low arrives at my apartment at 10:15pm and she was more than ready to go out. She arrived in the jean skirt outfit that was extremely revealing. Her boobs were pushed up to her chin and skirt was soooooo short that you could see her coochie, no lie!

So we go into my apartment, have a drink, make last minute adjustments and hit the road. So we meet up with my friend Omar so we can partake in the drink specials at Ibiza the club we to. Ibiza had a killer cinco de mayo special so we took advantage. It was 2 get in for $10 before 11pm and $1 tokyo teas, long island, and white Russians, and adios motherfuckers! So me, Key-low'low, and Omar each other five drinks and proceeded to drink all five in 40 minutes.

So now the club is packed and it is time to start tramping and what not. So my sister goes and hangs out with her lesbian/bi friends and I go and hang out with my friends. So periodically my sister and I would touch base with one another to check in but all of a sudden my sister is no where to be found. I went to search for her but when I couldnt find her I just assumed she was screwing someone in the bushes or something raunchy like that.

So I am on the patio gossiping with my ex-roommate with the DJ says Will DeAunta please come to the womens restroom!?! So my roommate and some of my friends follow me to the restroom. Upon entering the handicap stall I found my sister hunch over on the toilet in a drunk stupor with drool running from her mouth and her coochie showing! She had puke all over the stall and needless to say we were being thrown out the bar. So I am carrying my incoherent sister out to my jeep but the bar owner is yelling at me because I cannot for the life of me figure how to carry her out without showing her coochie again her skirt was that short.

So I throw my sister down in the lobby while I go to get me jeep. But the police are in the parking lot doing breathalyzer checks I am in not in the mood to deal with the po-po! So finally drive my jeep to the front of the bar to get my sister. So I throw her in the backseat of my jeep and I drive off. While driving I am giving Key-low'low a pep talk and trying to get her to sober up somewhat. Apparently she was not feeling my pep talk because she proceeded to puke in the backseat of my jeep.

So we finally get to my apartment and I realize that I have to carry my sister (who is nothing but dead weight at this point) from the streets to the third floor of my apartment where I live. It took me at least 30 minutes to accomplished this task. But unfortunately, I dropped my poor sister 3 times and once I actually dropped her on her head! By the time I reached the third floor I was out of energy so I had no other choice but to place Key-low'low on the floor, grab her by the ankles and drag her to my apartment.

What really pisses me off is that 1. I did not close the deal with one of my crushes and I dont know when I will see him again because I never go out! 2. My jeep smells like puke and 3. This bitch woke up the next morning without a fucking hang over! I was like you have to be kidding me! She was walking around giggling, skipping and what not. Meanwhile I have the mother of all hangovers and I was unable to give my friend the sloppy, drunken lap-dance I promised!

posted by Lady_Sings_tha_blues @ 2:46 PM