Random Thoughts by Deionte

Child's Play How I Loathe You!

So I recently got Direct TV and I fucking love it! I especially enjoy watching the fake porn that Skinemax aka cinemax starts showing at like 5pm. Anywho, I was restless after watching a full hour of my favorite TV show Will & Grace and eating kettle korn. After flipping through all 300+ channels I settled on HBO, which was a huge mistake. After watching HBO for one minute I realized that I was watching Child’s Play, which in my opinion is one of the scariest fucking movies ever.

I remember the first time I watched that horrifying movie I peed a little in my pants, no lie! I was scared to sleep alone and I begged my mom and dad to let me sleep with them. Unfortunately, my parents wanted some “alone time” and my scary ass did not fit into their equation. So while my mom and dad went into their room to go knock boots and I was left alone with my imagination.

The first obstacle I faced was how to get from the Living room couch to my room without Chucky slashing my throat. After one hour of serious soul searching I decided that I would just leap off the couch and haul ass to my room. In one full sweep I jumped off the couch, leaped over the table and ran to me room. As I sat on my bed panting trying to catch my breath I realized that my battle with Chucky the eastside strangler was far from being over. I needed to change into my pajamas, brush my teeth, turn off my room light and most importantly survive through the night. I decided not to change my clothes just incase I had to live the house that night. I also decided that brushing my teeth could wait till the morning when my mom was awake. However, I cannot sleep with the light on. What was I to do? If I left my bed I would surely succumb to the evil deeds on Chucky. I was tired and I needed to sleep, I had no choice but to start crying. After I stopped crying from the massive headache I was getting I threw a shoe and turned off my light. I did not go to sleep that nite; I refused to die at such a young age.

Rewind to about 12 years later and here I am 24 years old and terrified from this fucking movie, once again. I wanted to change the channel but I was drawn in like a moth to a flame, like a bear to honey, I simply could not resist the mystical powers of Chucky. I watched the entire movie and I thought that I had overcome my childhood fear. I wish that were true. Suddenly, I had to pee like no other and I could not hold it. I was certain that if I left my bed I would most certainly fall to my death. This is coming from a “man” who has graduated from college! Anywho, I once again leaped off my bed and run for the bathroom, but this time I closed the bedroom door behind me this punk ass doll was not gonna get me…lol! After peeing I was terrified to go back into my room. I asked my roomie I could sleep with him. He replied, “Girl, I don’t like you like that”. (What the hell is that supposed to mean he should be so lucky to get some of this). Anywho I slept on the couch and I refuse to watch that fucking movie ever again as long I am short, black and deathly handsome!

posted by Lady_Sings_tha_blues @ 3:32 PM