Random Thoughts by Deionte

Random Thoughts of Gayness

Logo
So I have there is an all gay network called Logo and it is the best thing ever! 24 hours a day nothing but gay television! And its not all about buff guys doing each other, this network actually has some content. Last night I was watching this documentary on lesbians preparing for motherhood and it was very moving. I cried for like 1 hour in 15 minutes, which doesn’t mean much since I cry easily to begin with. Anywho, they have this show called "Noah’s Arc" and it’s about four black, gay male friends living in LA. This acting is okay at best but what is weird is seeing guys you have actually slept with acting on TV. All the "actors" on this show are from LA or the Bay Area meaning that every episode is a chance to see someone you have at least made out with…YAY!

Breaking up Sucks My Taint
So I am breaking up with my boyfriend today and needless to say I am less then excited about this situation. So at the beginning of this relationship everything was cool and I thought we had a really good connection. Well rewind to a few weeks later where Mr. Man is working 2 jobs, helps his mother with a daycare, sings in 2 different choirs, and plays the drums at church! We barely see each other and I am very high maintenaince I require lots of time and attention. Anywho, I have voiced my concerns numerous times and I have tried to be nice De’Aunta that most of you whores know. Unfortunately, I had to show him the mean, feisty, horrible De’Aunta who I rarely like to bring out because he is a real asshole. Anywho, I left my favorite sweatpants with Chico State written across the ass and I refuse to live without them. We are supposed to meet today to finalize things and I swear if he doesn’t have my sweats I will rip him a new one!

Porn
So everyone knows I adore porn. It’s not always sexual though. I mean sometimes its just fun to watch and look at the many facing these men make while doing the deed. Anywho, my friends and I were watching porn and comparing notes of what we had done, what we could do, and what are specialties are when it happened. It was this one scene with Bobby Blake who is this big black man with a 11 inch penis (FUN!) and BAM who is this skinny, muscular black guy with an 13 inch penis (you have to see it to believe it!!!). Anywho, we are watching the scene and then the bottom (the guy who will get the business) walks in and he looks really familiar. So I look at my roommate who went to high school with me for like a year and I am like doesn’t he look familiar? My roommate responded "girl, yes he does look familiar." Anywho, I will not "out" anyone via the internet because that is tacky and I would want someone to do that to me. But to make a long story short someone from my high school class of 2001 does porn!!! Secretly I am pissed off that someone beat me to the punch, dammit!

The Ball Was to Die For
So I went to a gay ball on Saturday and it was really interesting. For those of you who don’t not know the gay black community has houses (sort of like gay fraternity’s) and the compete on a monthly basis for trophies and money. They "walk" various categories and the competition is always fierce. Each house has a name with a local "gay Mother and Father" and a "state Mother and Father." These gay parents keep their "kids" inline and much sure that the house is represented at these balls. House names includes The House of Rodeo, Extravaganza, Lebejah, Ultra Omni, La Rue, Allure, Prodigy, and there are too many other House to name.

The categories in which you can walk are face (must have a gorgeous face with no scars, make-up, or bumps), European and American runway, Best Labels (top of the line clothing Versace, Dolce & Gabbana, and so on), Sex Siren (gays and lesbians with bodies from out of this world), Realness (gays and lesbians who you would never believe are gay), basically there are various categories that cover virtually every aspect of black gay life. But the best category is Vogue; if you haven’t seen the documentary "Paris is Burning" go get it! Imagine what the men were doing on Madonna’s "Vogue" video now multiply it by 100 and you have the category of Vogue.

Car Fight
So after The Ball everybody is outside trying to make booty calls and reading each other down (talking shit) and as I was talking to my ex-boyfriend I saw that someone was fist fighting in a car. So naturally I screamed like a girl and run or skipped over to the car to get a better view of the action. So once I get to the car I see that two ultra feminine lesbians are going at each others throat inside this tacky little car. So the girl who is driving the car is getting her ass beat and I start yelling "girl don’t get yo’ ass whooped in yo’ own car, beat that bitches ass!" So the other girl starts banging the drivers head against the window, I decided that I would open the door so they could get out and have a fair fight and I can get a better view. Well the driver slams the door and crushes her fingers, so now her hand is caught in the door and passenger lesbians is still beating her ass…it was a mess!

posted by Lady_Sings_tha_blues @ 11:01 AM