Random Thoughts by Deionte

Opposites Attract...Date from hell

So when I first moved back to the Bay Area after college graduation I got into a bad relationship that really took me through a lot of drama. One of my friends decided that I needed to go out on a date to get my mind of my Ex. She said that she had the perfect date and that he had seen my picture and thought I was cute. Me being one to never turn down a free meal said give him my # and we’ll take it from there. He called me and we had an okay conversation and made plans to go out on our first date.

So the day of our date arrived he called and said that he was 5 minutes from my house. So I went outside and anxiously awaited his arrival. As I stood outside a white Escalade drove towards me. I instantly became irritated because I have this weird thing against those fucking SUV’s. I was relived when the Escalade made a right turn and kept going down the street. That when I saw it. It was a blue Ford Festiva with a red hood. As this atrocious toy of a car drove towards me I saw something shining on the drivers face. As the toy-car came closer I saw that it was the sun shining off his gold teeth! The guy looked at me and gave me a head nod mouthing the words “what’s up?” As he made a u-turn I see all the veins in his head. He did not have power steering.

As I stood there in disbelief he stopped the car and got out to open my door. I was still standing in disbelief. He jokingly said are you coming or not. I stood there in disbelief as I saw his choice of clothing. White Air force ones, buggy blue jeans, a white t-shirt that was long as a nightgown and basketball jersey. I slowly walked towards the Festiva and sat in the dirty broke down seat. He had decided that we would go the Chevy’s in SF. As we drove to Chevy’s he played loud music and did the hify dance. The only conversation we had was when ask me “if I fucks on da 1st date” I replied NOPE as I stared out his self-tented windows.

Once we arrived at Chevy’s he put his hand in my back pocket and grabbed my ass as the waitress seated us. I mistakenly mentioned that I try not to drunk too much because I become too sexual, he ordered my 2 Grande Apple-tinis. After we ordered we made brief attempts at small talk which was interrupted when he said the waitress “A waitress bitch, can we git sum watah or not?” As patrons watched in disbelief the waitress brought our water. Our food finally came and yet again my date was not please with the service. He told the waitress that his steak was not sizzling so she needed to take that shit back. I decided to keep my food because I knew that the chances were high that she was going to spit in his food.

We finally finished our meal and were on our way back to Richmond. As we approached the bridge I noticed him sizing me up and tagging on his fun-pole. He asked me if I saw what I was doin to him? I said nope. He then sat low in his seat in the position men usually sit in when you give a BJ while they are driving (don’t ask me how I know this). I knew this was a bad situation and it was only goin to get worst. He then said with an attitude are you going to suck my dick or what? I said hell no! He replied I paid bridge toll, gas money, and paid for dinner you’re sucking my dick! I told him that this lady would be sucking no dicks and that this discussion was over. He told me that I could walk home and I told him I certainly could. He pulled over by the side of the freeway by Bay Street in Emeryville. I got out and called my cousin who didn’t answer her phone. Luckily I had a “friend” who lived nearby and made my night better. My friends said she chose him to be my date is because opposite attract.

posted by Lady_Sings_tha_blues @ 11:42 AM