Random Thoughts by Deionte

Your Horrible and Fat...Go workout!

So I have never really considered myself to be fat. But lately I have been looking at old pictures and realized how hot my body used to be. I have never got any complaints but, I used to dance on a daily basis and I even had a 6 pack. Now depending on the time of day and the angle you look at me you might be able to see a 2 or 4 pack. I used to think that I had an ordinary ass. But since I’ve moved back to the Bay Area my ass has started it’s on fan club. When I got out the shower a few weeks ago I finally noticed what the members of the mega booty fan club are talking about. You know how you hop out the shower and take a glimpse of your body while naked and wet (which I believe is the best time to view your body) in the mirror. Well I saw my ass and said “got damn” this was no laughing matter. I stared in the mirror with my body contorted looking at my massive ass. Was this some type of cruel joke? Was God punishing me for the thoughts I had about this drop dead Deacon at my church. This man is fine as hell. He is always clean-cut, fresh suit and shoes, and a Colgate smile to die for. Anyways, then I looked at my legs, which used to be really defined and muscular. Now I don’t even know how to define my legs. My body was in needed of some major repair work.

I know that I am not in that bad of shape. But, I’m really disappointed that I have continued to neglect my body and now I am starting to see the results of my actions. I’ve never been one to just sit back and complain. I believe if you have a problem you should take the necessary steps needed to resolve whatever your issue may be. With that being said I have decided to do something about my situation. I have decided to make better life decisions. I am going to drastically cut back on my fast-food intake, eat healthier foods, and go back on my dance workout regimen. I made a sign and hung it above my bed. The sign reads Your Horrible & Fat go workout!

But my problem is far from being solved. I live for Wendy’s 99-cent menu, Popeye’s 5 chicken strip meal, and my weekly teriyaki chicken burrito. Giving up these tantalizing meals could result in me having a major psychological meltdown. I tried to eat a chicken salad for lunch yesterday around 12:25pm and by 2:15pm I was feeling light headed and ready to take out everyone who worked in my department. I work with a bunch of healthier eaters and they gave me a crash course in healthy eating. This shit really sucks. I mean everything I enjoy eating is unhealthy. I’ve decided to fly down to Mexico and get liposuction. I simply don’t have time to diet. I’m a busy woman with a lot on my plate. I have work to ignore, booty calls, gossip, shopping, parties to attend, bars to hop, television to watch and burritos to eat. Working out and healthy eating doesn’t fit into this equation. Just kidding! I am now officially on Kanye’s Workout Plan I’ll keep everyone updated on my progress. And to be confused when you see someone who resembles Naomi Campbell around Richmond it’s just me.

posted by Lady_Sings_tha_blues @ 10:22 AM